If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
