don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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