i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
