I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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