Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
