Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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