Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
