Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
