I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
