i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
