I just pynch a tree in the face
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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