What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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