the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You did what with his pubic hair?
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