But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize