If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
