He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
