Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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