I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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