That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
3pm strippers are depressing
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
