your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
