Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
