I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
