Need sex. Gaining weight.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
