with your own penis?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
