Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
