I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i came on her dog
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize