Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
