shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
