I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just invented taco cereal.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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