Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
