so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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