im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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