if you like me you must not know who I am
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
