You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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