Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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