he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
