For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
