so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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