Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
then he tried to convert me to islam
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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