5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
