Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize