I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
