NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
