ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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