Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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