would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
