When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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