i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize