I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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