Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
