I must be too annoying 4 u.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
