her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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