We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
