I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
