Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
