My nipple is on Facebook.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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