we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
