her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
