How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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