I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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