After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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